TV Review - The Perfect Date

If you don't know who Noah Centineo is, then you're likely not a teenage girl or a person under the age of 30. Centineo is the teenage Latino heartthrob who sent the Internet aflame last year. He first appeared in programs on the Disney Channel starting in 2011. His first significant role was on the TV series The Fosters, starting in 2015. His star-meter didn't jump into overdrive until last year when he appeared in three films exclusively online, two of which were Netflix originals. One of which was such a success that he started appearing on the cover of magazines and going on late-night talk shows by himself as a featured guest. His sex appeal was such that Netflix created a YouTube video that was five-hours long that consisted of Centineo half-naked in a hot tub. It was dubbed a sexy yule log.

This  movie could stand apart from his previous work as possibly being his first role where he's the protagonist, where he's the absolute lead. He's arguably been a supporting actor in all of his previous movies, even the ones that have gotten him the most acclaim. The movie that's gotten the most, most acclaim is To All the Boys I've Loved Before. He's also gotten significant notice for Sierra Burgess is a Loser. Arguably, he was a main character, the romantic interest in both, but he wasn't the lead. Both those movies were rightfully led by a female actor. The type of which normally don't get to be the lead. In To All the Boys I'ved Loved Before, that type was an Asian girl. In Sierra Burgess is a Loser, that type was a plus-size girl. Those types that don't get to be the lead being the lead are what mostly made those movies stand out and be successful.

This movie doesn't really stand out in that way. Centineo says he's part Italian and Puerto Rican. In addition to being Latino, Centineo also says he's part Native American. I'm not sure of what specific tribe, but if so, then his role would do a lot for Native American representation, which is surely lacking in leading roles across Hollywood, especially in romantic comedies. Native American actor Adam Beach was recently in Juanita, another romantic comedy on Netflix, but that's basically the exception that proves the rule. Centineo's character has a white father. His mother is never seen, so his ethnicity is ambiguous here, but any other culture beyond his father isn't expressed, so it's not much of an argument that can be made with regard to minorities in lead roles, but technically he is one.

Centineo stars as Brooks Rattigan, a senior in high school in Connecticut. His dream is to attend Yale University. He has to fill out an application to Yale and submit a personal essay to accompany it. The film follows his final few months before he figures out which college he'll attend. His school counselor points out that while he knows what college he wants, he doesn't seem to know what he wants to do once he gets to that college. He doesn't really know what he wants to be or much of who he is.

Odiseas Georgiadis plays Murph, the black, gay best friend of Brooks. Murph works with Brooks at a sandwich shop. Unlike Brooks, Murph has a skill or career path. Murph is good at computer coding. He's a coder. He works on designing apps. He also has a crush on a boy whom comes to the sandwich shop all the time. Murph is too nervous to talk to him and learn his name, so Murph refers to this boy as Tuna Melt on Seven Grain, which is the type of sandwich the boy always orders.

Brooks' only focus is raising money for college, assuming he gets into Yale. Brooks is clearly not rich if he has to work in a sandwich shop and drive an old Saturn car. His father is a failed writer who works on the staff of the University of Connecticut or UConn. One day, a rich kid classmate named Reece comes into the sandwich shop and complains that he's getting paid to take his cousin to some formal dance or wealthy event. When Brooks offers to take his place for the money, it sparks an idea to ask Murph to create an app that would basically farm him out to girls who need dates.

He makes the distinction that he's not a gigolo or a male prostitute. He's an escort or like a chaperone. When he comes up with this idea, he proclaims it as if it hasn't been thought up before. Based on the 2016 novel by Steve Bloom, Brooks and Murph treat this as some kind of revolutionary thing. A simple Google search reveals that apps of this kind go back to 2014. Dating apps in general go back even further and don't involve needing to exchange money.

Laura Marano (Austin &Ally and The Sarah Silverman Program) co-stars as Celia Lieberman, the cousin of Reece who doesn't want to go to formal events where she needs an escort or a chaperone. She'd rather make fun of it all than hang out with the rich kids or socialize with them. She thinks they're lame. She's very much like the titular character of MTV's Daria. Yet, she has a sense of humor that isn't as sardonic. Her dialogue with Brooks is almost akin to that of a screwball comedy.

Directed by Chris Nelson (Date and Switch and Ass Backwards), this movie feels like it's trying to be two films and doesn't quite succeed at either. Even though the source material came out before Hallmark Channel's Mingle All the Way (2018), this film feels like it's trying to be that movie. Like that movie though, the premise of a non-sexual and non-romantic, dating app is more a gimmick in this narrative than an actual, fully fleshed-out thing. One has to suspend disbelief for the premises for a lot of films, if not most, but here the premise is mainly used as a wedge, a secret that Brooks hides from Celia with whom he allegedly falls in love, so it can then become the wedge to drive the two apart at the end of the second act.

It's surprising that Nelson would depict Brooks going out as an escort with various girls as a montage in which we don't even see most of the girls or hardly any. Literally, Nelson has a montage where Brooks goes to the door of various girls but the camera is only pointed at him from the point-of-view of the person opening the door, but we never get the reverse shot to see who's opening the door or who these girls are. We see him briefly being someone's tennis partner. We also see him dressing up in various stereotypical outfits like as a cowboy, a salsa dancer or a John Hughes, 80's character.

Yet, it begs many questions. How much does he charge these girls? How old are these girls? Do the parents of said girls really approve of this? Is there really a market for him, so that he can afford to pay for Yale? How desperate really are these girls that they can't get people to go to things like a rodeo or a costume party? Because we never spend time with the majority of the girls, it casts them all in a particular light that doesn't seem all that favorable. If he's just escorting or chaperoning people, why doesn't he also offer his services to teenage boys? It's odd that Murph at no point would suggest that as an option. There's also a contradiction at play that Brooks is able to keep this dating app a secret from certain people, yet it's supposed to be well-known enough that he keeps getting dates from girls. How does that work?

Like the Hallmark Channel, this movie is very chaste. The most this movie provides is a single kiss and that's no exaggeration. There is literally only one kiss in terms of the physical contact between these teenagers. This is a romantic comedy, so the point is to watch two people fall in love and eventually decide they want to be together. Yet, this movie sends mixed messages about why two people should be together, while ignoring blaring questions that would undermine those relationships.

Before realizing she should date Brooks, Celia is interested in another guy named Franklin. She pines for him until she meets him and spends some time with him, learning there's one thing about him she finds objectionable, so she must dump him. Meanwhile, Murph is infatuated with a guy whose name he doesn't even know. Yet, his coupling with said unnamed guy is supposed to be celebrated. Brooks' coupling with Celia is also meant to be celebrated, but, despite being in love with Celia, the essential question of who he is or what he wants to do with his life is never answered in this movie. Given the events of this movie, he could pursue a career as either an actor or a model, but in terms of a specific career-path, he never identifies anything, which seemed to have been the point of this other than whom he's going to love.

It's not even known if Celia is going to the same school as him or if she's going to another school somewhere else. If that's the case, the two of them will only date for a couple of months before separating. They're young people, so it's not to suggest that the people they meet in high school will be the people they'll marry or something, but not even acknowledging her plans for college or after high school really dismisses her as a character.

Rated TV-14.
Running Time: 1 hr. and 30 mins.

Available on Netflix.